


Pretty and Petty

by icannotevenfandom



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Light Angst, M/M, chat fic, pining Oikawa, pining suga
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10066538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icannotevenfandom/pseuds/icannotevenfandom
Summary: Suga added Akaashi, Shirabu and Futakuchi to Pretty and PettyAkaashi:Suga-san, why?Suga:Why not?Akaashi:You just like to watch the world burn, don’t you?Suga:(￣▽￣)V





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is like a whatsapp chat but you can change each other's usernames (so skype? i don't know man!) 
> 
> Also I have kept their usernames intact for now but they change later because pettiness.

_Oikawa has added Suga to Pretty and Petty ___  


**Suga:** Oikawa….what?  
**Oikawa:** Listen, don’t act as if you don’t know what this is.  
**Suga:** No I know but why?  
**Oikawa:** Because I need my daily dose of pettiness and I can’t do that normally because Iwa-chan hits me with volleyballs (╥﹏╥)  
**Suga:** I mean you do deserve it…  
**Oikawa:** Mean Suga-chan! (⋟﹏⋞)  
**Suga:** But are we going to be the only members because we could have literally private chatted!  
**Oikawa:** No you idiot! I wanted us to be the founding members of ‘pretty and petty’! And I also need you to rope in people for this chat  
**Suga:** Why couldn’t you? (눈‸눈)  
**Oikawa:** Because you are a deceiver and people trust you more than me (they really shouldn’t)  
**Suga:** I am just going to take that as a compliment.  


_Suga added Akaashi, Shirabu and Futakuchi to Pretty and Petty ___  


**Akaashi:** Suga-san, why?  
**Suga:** Why not?  
**Akaashi:** You just like to watch the world burn, don’t you?  
**Suga:** (￣▽￣)V  
**Shirabu:** you are the fukurodani setter aren’t you? why do you have an owl as your pic? trying to hide that you aren’t pretty?  
**Akaashi:** Why do you have a bowl on your head as your pic?  
**Akaashi:** Oh whoops that’s your hair.  
**Akaashi:** My bad. I apologise salty-bowl-san.  
**Shirabu:** fuck you  
**Akaashi:** No thanks. I have standards.  
**Oikawa:** I can always trust you Suga-chan  
**Suga:** Thanks.  
**Futakuchi:** Welp I was going to leave the chat but this is definitely more entertaining!

 **Oikawa:** Hey Suga-chan, I was going to add my kouhai and I suddenly remembered, don’t you have an annoying 1st year brat on your team?  
**Suga:** Oh yeah! I can’t believe I forgot him!  


_Suga has added Saltysauras to Pretty and Petty_  
_Oikawa has added Yahaba to Pretty and Petty ___  
_Saltysauras has left the chat_  
_Suga has added Saltysauras to Pretty and Petty __  
_

**Suga:** Tsukishima I didn’t add you to the chat for you to leave.  
**Saltysauras:** Suga-san, why?  
**Akaashi:** That seems like a recurring theme.  
**Akaashi:** Hello, Tsukishima.  
**Saltysauras:** Hello Akaashi-san. Looks like you were dragged here as well.  
**Akaashi:** By your vice-captain, yes.  
**Saltysauras:** Suga-san why am I in this chat?  
**Suga:** …….  
**Saltysauras:** Ok you have a point.  
**Yahaba:** Oikawa-san how did you and the karasuno vice captain become friends? And does iwaizumi san know that?  
**Oikawa:** You don’t want to know how Yahaba and you surely don’t want to tell Iwa-chan about it  
**Shirabu:** that doesn’t sound vaguely threatening at all  
**Yahaba:** WHY IS HE HERE?!!  
**Yahaba:** This chat is for _Pretty_ and Petty  
**Shirabu:** listen you creampuff hair  
**Yahaba:** Don’t you talk about MY hair you bowl cut!  
**Oikawa:** Chidren, pls  
**Shirabu:** fuck off! you have an alien fetish  
**Yahaba:** How dare you talk to him like that!  
**Shirabu:** he is your captain not mine  


_Suga has changed Oikawa’s name to Alien fetish __  
_

**Alien fetish:** Suga wtf! I trusted you!  
**Suga:** You trusted wrong  


_Akaashi added Kenma to Pretty and Petty ___  


**Suga:** Umm I don’t doubt kenma being pretty but I don’t think he is petty?  
**Akaashi:** That is what you think.  
**Kenma:** keiji this is going to be tedious.  
**Akaashi:** Read up. You will know why I added you.  
**Kenma:** .

 **Futakuchi:** Is no one going to ask why Tsukishima’s username is Saltysauras?  
**Kenma:** no  
**Futakuchi:** …….  
**Saltysauras:** Heh

 **Alien fetish:** Who tf does Ushiwaka thinks he is?!  
**Suga:** Here we go again  
**Shirabu:** don’t you say anything about our ace  
**Yahaba:** Well he is not OUR ace  
**Shirabu:** you are so fucking annoying!  
**Alien fetish:** He fucking met me near school and told me that I should have come to Shiratorizawa  
**Yahaba:** What did you do?  
**Alien fetish:** I gave him a piece of my mind  
**Suga:** So you screamed at him till he went away. Like literally screamed, without any words or anything.  
**Alien fetish:** Of course not!  
**Suga:** No I am not asking you, I am telling you what happened.  
**Yahaba:** Oh so that was what it was about? Matsukawa senpai won 500 yen then.  
**Alien fetish:** WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? YOU ALL WERE BETTING???  
**Yahaba:** No only the third years. We all heard your scream, matsukawa senpai guessed it was ushijima while iwaizumi senpai guessed it was about your hair and hanamaki senpai guessed you read that notice about milk bread no longer being available in the cafeteria.  
**Alien fetish:** MILK BREAD IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE IN SCHOOL CAFETERIA??!!!!!  
**Alien fetish:** I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!  
**Suga:** I can hear you screaming in your pillow.  
**Shirabu:** wait you both are together right now?  
**Suga:** Yeah, I am at his place. Btw Shirabu you were right about that alien fetish  
**Alien fetish:** FUCK YOU SUGA! I AM TRAUMATISED RIGHT NOW!!  
**Suga:** Good  
**Alien fetish:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**Futakuchi:** What are you both doing together? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**Suga:** Do you really want to know? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**Saltysauras:** I really didn’t need to know that. Goodbye.  


_Saltysauras has left the chat_  
_Suga added Saltysauras to the Pretty and Petty __  
_

**Saltysauras:** Goddamit!! I am telling Daichi-san!  
**Suga:** Try me bitch! (屮｀∀´)屮  
**Kenma:** you were right keiji  
**Akaashi:** I know.

 **Suga:** Tsukishima Kei.  
**Futakuchi:** Ohh full name… Is our salty kouhai in trouble?  
**Saltysauras:** Yes Sugawara-senpai?  
**Suga:** What did you do?  
**Saltysauras:** I have no idea what you are talking about senpai.  
**Saltysauras:** I was just talking to our captain, sharing some of my woes as a teenager and getting some advice on how to deal with pesky senpais.  
**Shirabu:** Ohhhhhhhhhh dragged!  
**Futakuchi:** Karasuno has some real good entertainment!  
**Suga:** Oh Tsukishima, so naïve. 

**Saltysauras:** WHY. IS. THE. CAPTAIN. LECTURING. ME?  
**Suga:** (米＾－＾米)  
**Saltysauras:** What did you DO?  
**Suga:** Oh nothing. Daichi confronted me about the group chat and I told him that it was a volleyball chat to groom you into a better player with tips and advice from different players. However not only were you not interested you were quite rude to people from other schools. I mean that is quite believable you know.  
**Futakuchi:** OMG  
**Suga:** I may have also let it slip when Hinata was around that you were rude to Kenma who was very upset about it and is not replying on chat.  
**Saltysauras:** YOU WHAT? OMG I can see him storming towards me from over here!!  
**Shirabu:** Suga-san is savage!  
**Futakuchi:** Life Advice- Don’t mess with Suga  
**Kenma:** did you have to drag me into this? shouyou wont stop calling me  
**Suga:** Good. Since you are not picking up he will be more convinced that you are upset.  
**Futakuchi:** But Tsukishima can just show them the chat and prove you wrong?  
**Suga:** He won’t. If he does, that means he lost. There is a reason I added him to the petty chat.  
**Futakuchi:** You are terrifying.  
**Saltysauras:** HINATA ‘ACCIDENTALLY’ HIT ME 7 TIMES WITH A VOLLEYBALL TODAY!!  
**Suga:** Hah you deserved it you brat! You thought I was an amateur? I am your senpai in all things!  
**Saltysauras:** Is being a senpai in pettiness really something to be proud of?  
**Suga:** Yes  


_Alien fetish has changed Suga’s name to Salt __  
_

**Salt:** Really?  
**Alien fetish:** You make me proud to be your friend. I am wiping tears of pride. (人´∀｀)．☆．。．:*･°


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current chat members and their names-
> 
> Alien fetish - Oikawa  
> Salt-Suga  
> Saltysauras-Tsukishima  
> Yahaba  
> Shirabu  
> Futakuchi  
> Akaashi  
> Kenma

**Yahaba:**  Oh my god!

**Yahaba** : This is the best thing I have ever witnessed!

**Alien fetish:** Shigeru-chan if you still want to have your legs after tomorrow’s practice, shut the fuck up!

**Salt:** NO NO TELL US!

**Yahaba:** I don’t even care Oikawa-san!

**Alien fetish:** Yahaba I am warning you

**Yahaba:** No.

**Yahaba:** So we were practicing today as usual and the captain of girl’s volleyball team came in and stayed to see our practice (she is one of the prettiest girls). Oikawa-san in all his glory went to her and started flirting because he thought she obviously came there to watch him.  After about 5 minutes of her dropping hints and Oikawa san thinking she is just shy of talking to him she finally snapped at him and said “Oikawa-san I am not here for you. I am not even remotely interested in you so please stop embarrassing yourself. I am here to talk to Iwaizumi san. Now if you will kindly excuse me,” and she smiled the fakest smile ever and went to Iwaizumi san and asked to speak to him in private!

**Shirabu:** OMG this is hilarious!!

**Futakuchi:** I am laughing so hard! Please tell me there is a video of this! I need to see Oikawa’s face!

**Yahaba:** I think hanamki senpai started recording halfway through. I will see what I can do.

**Alien Fetish:** Yahaba chan I will be meeting you at practice tomorrow. Prepare some icepacks just in case.

**Yahaba:** Worth it!

**Salt:** So… Is Iwaizumi getting confessed right now?

**Yahaba** : Yes, it’s been like 10 minutes since he went out

 

_Private chat with Alien fetish_

**Salt:** Hey you ok?

**Alien fetish:** Yeah! Why do you ask?

**Salt:** Oikawa.

**Alien fetish:** Sugawara.

**Salt:** Oikawa stop being difficult! I know you are anxious about the confession since it is taking so long!

**Alien fetish:** I mean… I can’t do anything about it ,can I? Iwa chan is good looking and kind and smart. Obviously he will get confessions even if he is such a brute to me!

**Salt:** Him getting confessions is different and him accepting one is different.

**Alien fetish:** I can’t do anything about either Suga chan. It is not like I have told him anything about my feelings. And even if I had I can’t stop him from pursuing a relationship just because I have feelings for him.

**Salt:** Oikawa why are you like this? Just tell him how you feel! You have been best friends since you were 5, that relation won’t change just because he doesn’t have romantic feelings for you and I doubt that is true! I haven’t seen your interactions outside of the court that much but from what I have seen and from what you tell me I think there is a huge possibility that he feels the same.

**Alien fetish:** Then why hasn’t he come back yet? Why hasn’t he hinted at anything? He hasn’t come out to me even though I came out as bi to him. And I can’t drop hints to him if I don’t even know if he likes boys! I just think he is straight and all his feelings for me are platonic.

**Salt:** I am sorry Oikawa but I don’t know how to help you more. I know I always suggest this but seriously, if not Iwaizumi at least talk to Hanamaki and Matsukawa. They both know you and Iwaizumi better and they can be better at judging this situation. At least think about it.

 

_Pretty and Petty chat_

**Yahaba** : Oikawa-san where are you?

**Alien fetish:** What happened?

**Yahaba:** No, Iwaizumi san is back and you were the only person not there so he was searching for you.

**Alien fetish:** I am coming in 5! I hope he can survive without me till then!

**Salt:** ………

**Alien fetish:** (¬_¬)

**Futakuchi:** So….. what happened? Did he say yes to the volleyball captain?

**Yahaba:** He did not! I don’t understand! She is literally the prettiest girl in school and they have so much in common! Plus they took so much time to come back we all were sure they got together!

**Salt:** Maybe he likes someone else

**Yahaba:** This is iwaizumi senpai we are talking about. I doubt it. Plus if he did we would have already known about it because oikawa-san has no concept of secrecy.

**Salt:** Ahh is that so. So he normally rejects anyone who confesses?

**Yahaba:** Yeah pretty much. I don’t think he has had a girlfriend for the past year at least.

**Yahaba:** Btw sugawara-san, why are you so interested in iwaizumi-san?

**Salt:** No reason

**Futakuch:** hmmmmmmmmmmmmm that sounds fake, but okay.

**Salt:** .

**Saltysauras:** Suga-san is already dating our captain. Unless he is planning to cheat on him with Iwaizumi-san.

**Futakuchi:** Wait! You and Captain Thighs are together?

**Salt:** Ok firstly, captain thighs? Seriously?

**Salt:** secondly, Tsukishima wtf?

**Saltysauras:** What?

**Salt:** We are not together

**Saltysauras:** What do you mean you aren’t? I just lost 2000 yen to Yamaguchi!

**Salt:** What?

**Shirabu:** I like where your priorities lie tsukishima

**Salt:** You guys were betting on us being together? Wtf tsukishima?

**Saltysauras:** Ummm we just thought you didn’t want to tell us about your relationship. You both act like an old married couple! Yamaguchi is going to get a lot of money.

**Salt:** I don’t know how to react to this but I will be having a talk with you all tomorrow.

**Kenma:** keiji you owe me 1000 yen

**Salt:** Dammit Kenma! You both too? Why?

**Akaashi:** And Kuroo and Bokuto

**Salt:** I will get Daichi to handle them both.

**Akaashi:** ^ this is why. The reason why Kenma betted against you is because he thought you both were too cowardly and dense to admit your feelings. Guess he is right.

**Salt:** I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR DAICHI!!

**Alien fetish:** Are you sure Suga-chan? (≖ᴗ≖✿)

**Salt:** Oikawa don’t you dare start.

**Alien fetish** : (￣▽￣)V

**Saltyauras:** Image

**Futakuchi:** Ohh wow! Can he give me some of it?

**Salt:** No Yamaguchi can’t because soon he won’t be having any of that money.

**Akaashi** : Don’t do that Suga-san. You will ruin Tsukishima’s date.

**Futakuchi:** Wait what date?

**Kenma:** yamaguchi is taking tsukishima to the new dinosaur museum with that money. If tsukishima had won he would have taken yamaguchi stargazing.

**Saltysauras:** Why?

**Futakuchi:** Wait! Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are dating?

**Saltysauras:** Yes. You have a problem with that?

**Futakuchi:** Oh no no! I was just surprised that’s all…

**Alien fetish:** Suga chan your kouhai are so cute! You know what you should do? Take Dai-chan on a date!  (¬‿¬)

**Salt:** Oikawa, I know too much about you. Do you really want to risk my wrath?

**Yahaba:** Yes yes he does! Please tell us some information about him!

**Alien fetish:** Yahaba-chan you are fast becoming my least favourite kouhai

 

**Futakuchi:** Ugh do third years really have time to come to each and every match we have??

**Alien fetish:** I mean, we are still on the team…

**Futakuchi:**   No you guys are different! You are still on the team! Our third years decided to leave but still come for our matches and practice! Like what was even the point of them leaving! So irritating they are!

**Salt:** Moniwa-san is like the sweetest person on your team!

**Futakuchi:** Naah not Moniwa-san! I am mostly talking about another third year

**Salt:** Oh you talking about Kamasaki-san? You guys butt heads constantly. Mostly due to your teasing.

**Futakuchi:** Wtf. How did you know?

**Salt:** Hinata is good friends with Aone.

**Futakuchi:** What the double fuck! Why is my best friend going and talking about me with that shrimp!

**Shirabu:** ‘cos you are salty

**Futakuchi** : Shut up!

**Salt:** Actually hinata also told me some interesting bits you know. According to your best friend, you actually don’t hate kamasaki-san, far from it….

**Futakuchi** : What do you mean? Of course I hate him! Why do you think I fight with him so much?!

**Salt:** You should know the answer to it

**Futakuchi:** what

**Salt:** Nothing nothing. I am going to go back to practice.

**Futakuchi:** what just happened?

 

_Private chat with Alien fetish_

**Salt:** Oikawa? You there?

**Alien fetish** : Hey Suga-chan! Yeah wassup?

**Salt:** Can I come over today?

**Alien fetish** : Yeah sure. Are you okay?

**Salt** : I don’t think so

**Alien fetish** : Okay, come anytime. I will get the movies and ice cream ready

**Salt:** Thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha of course there is going to be angst, what do you mean this was supposed to be only crack and humour
> 
> Ok I am finding it is difficult to include all characters equally in a chat when I have a sort of plot (?) and even just generally
> 
> But don't worry! I really want to include everyone so am going to write a bit of futakuchi centric plot (as you may have already guessed) and will also try and include everyone properly! Because I feel Suga and Oikawa are kinda becoming the main characters and while I don't mind that I don't want everyone to be completely side lined! So basically I really need to plan what I am doing which is ahhhhhh!
> 
> Please comment and tell me what you think! Give kudos if you like this fic!
> 
> Scream with me about Volleygays on [My Tumblr](http://gayanime.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> You can interpret oikawa and suga's relationship as you want for now! All will be revealed later (i too am waiting for the reveal because i have no clue either)
> 
> Please give kudos and comment if you like the fic! Constructive criticism welcome!
> 
> Scream at me about volleygays on [My Tumblr](http://gayanime.tumblr.com/)


End file.
